you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
