yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
