watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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