Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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