i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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