i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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