My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
