I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
