Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
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