There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
