Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
