You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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