girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
