Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
