I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
