um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
