News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
