Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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