She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
