Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
