question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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