guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
