Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
