You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
