I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
