with your own penis?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
