I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize