Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just threw up on my dentist
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
