We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
