I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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