I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
