butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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