Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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