Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
