Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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