Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize