i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize