Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
