I think I won the penis lottery.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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