dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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