sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
