jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
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