You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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