i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
