Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
