I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
