I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
false alarm. still invincible.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
