the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
