I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
