i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
