so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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