O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
