Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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