u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Couch. On fire.
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