I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
