I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
