I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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