AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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