Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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