I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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