You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
