she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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