i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
